Entry 1:
I'm going mad in this place without my love, my Rama! Is my husband still alive? Does he even know I've been kidnapped?
How could I be so foolish?
What if my actions caused serious harm to Rama and Lakshamana? Thinking back, I don't even recognize myself and the way I acted towards Lakshmana. I don't think a more devoted brother exists.
I can only hope Rama finds the jewelry I left for him to find me.
I am tormented by my kidnapper, Ravana, the king of Lanka. The evil demon tricked me, taking advantage of my desire to treat all people well. He killed Jatayu! How could such a majestic creature be taken by a despicable asura?
Ravana comes every day to see me, trying to win me with sickly sweet words.
It means nothing to me. I will remain true to Rama.
The only comfort I have here is one woman, Trijata, who gave me this piece
of parchment and writing materials. She told me she was sure Rama would
win and Ravana would be defeated. I cling to her support.
Entry 2:
I am so weary, but I stay strong because of the whispers that my love is still alive and searching for me. I am imprisoned in Ravana's garden, and he still comes daily. I don't know why; I will never yield to his empty words. I am constantly surrounded by asura women; they hate me. They tell me my husband is dead and that my life will be terrible unless I love Ravana. They are loyal to Mandodari, who has not visited me. Perhaps I can be happy for that. It is better to be seen as a meaningless nuisance than to be seen as a rival for one's husband.
Ravana scares me like none other. I know that he hates that he loves me, and he hates that I do not love him. No one compares to Rama! I will stay strong for the legacy of my husband, whether he is alive or dead.
Oh! Ravana is coming! I must hide my writings.
Entry 3:
I cannot bear it any longer! I would rather die than be without Rama! Ravana knows I cannot be won over by his repulsive "charms." He has become harsher, trying to prove to me that Rama is dead. As if that would free my heart and soul from Rama! I feel as if I am eternally bound to him. The women who guard me wave their weapons in my face and tell me they will tear me apart limb by limb. I know they cannot; Ravana will kill them. I tell them to do their worst, and the cowards back away. It's pointless, though. They are becoming more fearless, and I think my only way to freedom is to die. I have fashioned a way to hang myself. Perhaps I will be reunited with Rama in the next life.
Wait, I just heard something strange...
Entry 4:
Rama is coming for me! At first, I was surprised to find a strange man-monkey speaking to me
with words I could hardly dare to believe. I almost wept for joy when I saw my husband's ring! I gave a small bit of my jewelry I had hidden to Hanuman to give to Rama. Oh, I can barely write because I am so overjoyed. I am going to be saved!
Entry 5:
Rama is
not dead. Ravana is the worst of demons! I can hear the sounds of battle, and I know my husband's army would not give up if he were dead. But, I saw his head so realistically removed from his body. I almost fainted, but I would not show weakness in front of Ravana. I hid my hands behind my sari so he wouldn't see how they trembled. My love, come to me soon! In the meantime, I will remain yours, and yours alone.
Entry 6:
I saw him! At first, I thought he was dead. He looked just like the head I had been shown by Ravana, except his body was still attached. Ravana wanted me to think Rama had died in battle, but Trijata was there. She told me he had merely fainted. When I am reunited with Rama, she will be richly rewarded. In this place, she is the only one who is kind and decent.
Entry 7:
My trials in Lanka are over, but my reunion with my husband was far from what I had dreamed of for so long. I ran to him. Yet I saw no affection in his eyes. I saw a cold king, not a passionate husband.
My heart still belongs to him, but when he started speaking of duty and obligation, I lost it.
I don't want to be an obligation. I don't want to be some trouble in his life. I wanted Rama to be happy and to be the king I knew he was meant to be. I threw myself into the fire to show my loyalty, and I passed the test.
It turns out it
was a test, and now everyone knows I have always been loyal to Rama.
I'm still not happy about it, but I do admire the intelligence of my husband and how he wanted to stop any gossip about my purity.
At last, we can be together. Now, I am queen, and Rama is my king.
Author's Note: Sita is one of the most captivating characters in the Ramayana, and I wanted to capture a little bit of what she might have felt being held prisoner by Ravana. Throughout her whole kidnapping, she never wavers in her devotion to Rama. Even when he does rescue her and act so harshly, she decides to die to show him how much he loves her! I added more of Trijata into the story because she was one of the few people who could have given Sita a journal.
Bibliography:
Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana.
